Understanding The Other Woman
Understanding the other woman actually takes a lot out of a betrayed wife because she needs to step away from her own painful situation and look at it from another woman’s point of view. Not many can do that because the common perception is still women who have affairs with someone else’s husband are bitches and homewreckers. They don’t care about the happiness of others because if they do, they wouldn’t be trying to steal a man from his family. They are seen as manipulative, controlling and selfish. They don’t deserve any sympathy, not at all.
Understanding The Other Woman Through Forums
However, if you go through some of the forum and blog posts on being the other woman, perhaps you would understand them better. Not many actually sound like a bitch as they pour out their own pain, love and frustrations. In other words, you can detect their feelings of vulnerability, love and guilt. In fact, some of these women actually hope that the man they are involved with will continue to love the wife and not leave her because of them. This is probably a good signal of both love and guilt at play.
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To Get Back Your Husband
If you are the wife, it makes sense then that what you need to do to get back your husband is not to nag and label the other woman as a bitch. Because she is probably not and doing so will only make your husband come to her defense because the attachment is already there. You have to realize that it is easy for love and attachment to grow deeper if the other woman puts no pressure on your husband at all to leave you. It would only make him grateful for her support. Therefore, understanding the other woman is important because you will then have a better idea how to act if you want your husband to remain with you.
If your husband has 2 choices in front of him, he will compare and contrast. He will weigh what he will lose against what he has to gain. If you want to save your marriage, your job is to make it easier for your husband to decide to come back to you and leave the other woman. And you won’t achieve that if you start accusing and labeling the other woman as someone she is not, at least in your husband’s eyes. Therefore, understanding the other woman and using that to your advantage by saying the right things to your husband should be what you have to aim for.
Try showing the same patience, acceptance, understanding and grace so that your husband knows that you too can be as loving and compassionate and not a bitter, nagging wife that he dreads to come home to everyday. After all, the last thing that you would want to do is to push your spouse away into the arms of another.