There can be a few reasons why your cheating spouse is accusing you of being unfaithful when you have not done anything wrong at all. One reason could be that your spouse wants to get out of the marriage. By accusing you of infidelity, he can then turn around and leave without having to justify his action. Since you have cheated, he can then freely walk away without having to explain why he wants to leave in the first place. He has created a situation in such a way that gives him a valid excuse to leave.

The second reason is merely to shift the focus away from himself. He does not want to be the center of attention and he certainly doesn’t want you to notice what he has been up to. So, the best way is to shift the attention to you instead so that you are thrown off track.

The last reason for being accused of cheating is to create an avenue for himself to carry on with the affair. If he accuses you of cheating, the relationship starts to sour and he now has a justifiable reason to come home late and stay away from home. He may even start to flaunt the affair because now, he has a valid excuse to cheat since he has accused you of doing the same.

As you can see, there are reasons for such an accusation if your spouse is cheating on you. So, do not assume that it is merely a misunderstanding, especially if there is really no reason for your spouse to think that you are being unfaithful. It may well be a strategy that he has carefully planned to achieve what he has in mind.

The reason being disputes permit your spouse to leave home for a short while with the excuse of cooling down. Because you already understand the reason why he is leaving, he does not have to inform you the intention for getting out of the house and where he will be going. It would appear natural to need some time alone following a fight and thus, automatically stops you from getting suspicious.

Such happenings are not unusual. Numerous betrayed partners actually end up having disputes with their spouses just prior to the weekend which enable the cheaters to share their days off with their lovers instead. No doubt, such acts of deceit is painful to put up with. Not only they can bring about much emotional anguish, but betrayed partners could also end up having self-esteem problems and low self-confidence. This is often a direct effect of being regularly blamed for all the issues in their relationships since laying blame provides an straightforward method for their spouses to purposely pick up fights.

How To Find Out

So, if you suspect an affair is going on and both of you happened to be arguing a lot recently, strive to uncover if cheating may be the rationale behind all those battles. For example, can you see a pattern in all those arguments? If you look back and consider all those fights that have taken place, did they always occur close to the holidays or weekends?

Also, if you know you have been very tolerant with your spouse, but he is still always instigating a fight, then you may wish to find out a little more regarding his recent conduct. If your partner is the one who always initiates an argument, you would need to look into the real cause behind the frequent flare-ups.

What about the reasons for all the fights? Were they always caused by some slight problems that are of little importance? After all, for a quarrel to begin, there must be a trigger factor. A cheating spouse have got to think of one in order to initiate a fight with you. Therefore, petty matters that are not important can suddenly gain prominence to become a basis for arguments.

The final thing to be aware of is does your spouse get out of the house following each argument. If, each time, following a dispute, your spouse makes his way out, you probably have reasons to believe an affair is going on, particularly if he didn’t have this same tendency before. If arguments have become the standard excuse to leave the house, you ought to also try to recollect if other signs of cheating have also appeared at roughly the same time that this habit began developing.

If you think that your spouse is cheating, you definitely need to be as cunning so that you would know what his actual objective is. A cheating spouse have to come up with good excuses to cover up his unexplained absence from home and this will force him to be as creative as possible so that you will not feel suspicious. Thus, if there are constant fights in your relationship now, go one step further and confirm if it is simply an excuse to get away from you!

This was an anonymous call from someone who is working in the other woman’s office. Usually, when an affair has been going on long enough (in her case for more than a year), you can’t really hide it from everyone. There are bound to be people who know.

The Signs Of Cheating Are There

Anyway, as can be seen in this case, a spouse can carry on cheating for a long time without you knowing. But the fact is a cheater would always display signs of cheating for you to see. The issue is whether you know how to interpret those signs correctly to arrive at the right conclusion.

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For the woman mentioned above, her husband displayed one of the commonest signs of cheating – working late nights. They became increasingly frequent. But because in a marriage, there must be trust, she didn’t see the overtime as a conduit for cheating.

Then, came the phone calls. She has a habit of showering each night after dinner although sometimes, she would wait until her kids are asleep before heading to the bathroom. But when the cheating started, her husband would offer to keep an eye on the kids while pushing her to have her shower earlier. While in the bathroom, she would be able to hear a distant click on the phone’s extension, signaling that the phone is being used.

As typical of cheaters, the lying would come as part of the package. When she asked her husband if there was a call while she was in the bathroom, the answer was always a big no. And she believed him all the way, reasoning that those clicks are merely the cause of a less than perfect phone system.

Making Sense Of The Signs

All these signs finally began to make sense when the anonymous call came through. Now, she knew the reasons for all those overtime, phone clicks and other little bits and pieces that didn’t seem quite right earlier.

So, if you look back, the signs of cheating are always clear. They are always there. It is only when you are still unaware of any cheating taking place that you think nothing of those signs that appeared. You rationalize and find excuses for their presence. Usually, it is when the signs become all too obvious when each one start piling on top of the other, that you probably begin to sit up and take notice. Alternatively, you begin to evaluate those signs more seriously when you stumble onto a piece of evidence that signifies cheating may be taking place.

Of course, on hindsight, the signs of cheating would always be clear cut. But what you can do is to be more alert and proactive so that you can minimize the time of blissful ignorance rather than letting the cheating go on for months or even years before you come to realize what is happening.

In the case above, a simple spot check by coming out of the bathroom to investigate when a click is heard may be all it takes to find out what is going on. Interpreting the signs correctly is all about trusting your gut feeling, being alert and taking the extra step to find out more.

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For instance, if your spouse has taken up a gym membership and is spending a few nights there every week, what can you deduce from his new behavior? Is he trying to meet new people with an intention to cheat? Or is he using the excuse of going to the gym to meet a lover? Maybe he merely wants to keep fit because of an expanding waistline. So, which is which?

Combination Of Cheating Signs

Confusion is common when suspicion of cheating is aroused. However, bear in mind that when your spouse is cheating, you normally have a combination of cheating signs appearing over time. It is rare that only a single sign of cheating will surface. You may have a hard time reading one sign but a combination of them will give you enough clues to come to a reasonable conclusion of what may be happening in your marriage.

Therefore, you have to be alert to all the changes that revolve around your spouse. Continuing from the example above, a new interest to keep fit may not mean your spouse is cheating. But let’s say, you also sense a reluctance on the part of your spouse to be intimate at around the same time his new interest took off. Now, this is how a combination of cheating signs can give you a stronger indication of an affair when a single sign alone does not seem to mean much at all.

Usually, a single strong signal will arouse your suspicion which enables you to make a vague assumption. But you cannot be sure of anything at this point. This is when you have to recall all those little signs that appeared before and begin to see them as one big picture. Taken in isolation, you may be able to come up with excuses to explain away your spouse’s behavior for each sign that appeared. But combine them all, you will start to realize that those signs may not be so innocent after all.

So, although lists of infidelity warning signs can be a guide, never over-rely on them to come to a conclusion of whether your spouse is indeed cheating. Just be aware of new habits and behaviors cropping up from your spouse and use that as a springboard for further investigation.

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Common Signs Of Infidelity

Having said that, there are obviously classic signs of cheating that commonly occur when someone is having an extra-marital affair. These include:

1. Changes in appearance from personal grooming to dressing style
2. Frequent need to work overtime
3. Difficulty to reach your spouse through the phone
4. Uncommunicative and lacking in intimacy
5. Displays of guilt
6. Increased excuses to get out of the house

Unique Signs

Of course, there are less common signs of infidelity and which will crop up will depend on the structure and habits of each couple. For instance, if you are constantly not at home, a cheating spouse may have no hesitation to use the home phone to talk to his lover. On the other hand, if you are always in the house, your spouse may resort to buying a new cell phone to communicate discreetly with the person he is seeing.

Therefore, warning signs of infidelity can be unique. As mentioned, what you need to do is to be alert to new habits and actions that your spouse have suddenly taken up. Look for a few of such signs because more often than not, when a spouse is cheating, more than one signal will surface to let you know something is not quite right.

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